If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. Anne Bradstreet

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. Ether 12:27

Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season therof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; Yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul. And it pleaseth God that he hath given all these things unto man; for unto this end were they made to be used, with judgment, not to excess, neither by extortion. D&C 59:18-20

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Thank you, Mom

Today is my 72nd birthday.  In
June 2013, at the age of 65 1/2, I faced heart surgery.  Without it I faced death in a few.months as my body shut down, in great pain, due to my CGHF
  But the surgery itself was high risk that I would die a sudden death during tje.operation.  I opted for the operation and.told the Lord, thy will be done, it's ok if I live or die.

When I woke from the surgery, I knew I was alive because the voices I heard were neither God nor Satan.  Then I instantly thought, thank you Mom.

I didn't know why I was thanking my Mom.  Over the years, I felt it was because she wanted to bring me home but consented to let me stay, and that was the deciding factor.

Today I found out for sure through personal revelation, that is what happened.  Not because I was asking, but because of the Lord's tender mercies towards me.

My Mom did indeed want to being me home.  She pleaded with the Lord for Him to take this opportunity to bring me home, and not make me have to stay, because I would never be okay after the surgery.  Even though I had a very miraculous recovery from that health crisis, I have had one health crisis after another ever since, and she knew I would.

The choice was left up to my Mom, and the Lord would do as she asked, but it was His will for me to stay.  It was a remarkable leap of faith for my Mom to yield her will to His, and say, Thy will be done.  And she took that leap.  For that she is exalted, with my Dad.

I was given a promise of 7 years after that near-death experience in 2013, and I thought for years that meant how long I would live.  Then over the last few months I've felt I will live much longer than that.  Today sitting thinking about those events, I felt maybe there will be another healing.  The pain is bad, and I've taken myself off the tramadol for pain, and riponerole for restless legs, so it's even worse than before.  Plus the restlessness at times is unbearable, and causes me to not be able to sleep.  And when I do sleep for very long, longer than about 4 hours, the back pain is even worse, so I'm either so fatigued from lack of sleep, or in really bad back pain.  But I'm hopeful my feeling is correct, and there is another healing for me, and I will be able to be much more active and do a lot more, pain free.

I also felt this afternoon that my financial situation will be improved in the coming months, with more money coming in so I can live more comfortable, although I do get by on what I make, some months it's by the grit of my teeth.  But I'm very thankful I have not had to reduce my fast offering, and I've not had to get groceries from the church.  Some neighbors shared some of their food with me last week, and it has made a big difference in being able to make it through this month.
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